Always on My Mind
Excuse me. Is this where we profess our love for the Gabriel’s Inferno series? It is? Good. I have some things I’d like to confess. If I could write a poem, I would, but the words could never truly express how I feel. And the last time I wrote a poem, I got a ‘C’ on it. I figure the best way to get this all out is to make a list of the reasons how I know I love the series. Let me know if you share any of these with me.
Proof that the Professor is “Always on My Mind” like Willy Nelson
Every song reminds me of a character. Yep, everything from Hall & Oates to music from Les Miserables to Alanis Morisette has a character attached to it. I find myself getting the correlation early on, but I keep it to myself because I don’t want people to think I’m weird because I’m swooning over fictional characters.
2. Talking About It
I talk about these books all the time. People say I steer conversations toward books and reading just so that I can mention Gabriel’s Inferno and Gabriel’s Rapture. It’s true. I do. People at baby showers, MMA fights, soccer matches, elevator rides (you have to talk quickly or stop the car), the grocery store, and cooking classes have all been subjected to my encouragement to read the books.
3. Whipping It Out
The book. Nothing else. I carry at least one of the books around with me at all times and whip it out when conversations get slow. I also whip it out and leave it out so people will ask questions about it. That’s when I go in for “the kill!”
Have you ever heard a podcast and they say that the author of your favorite book is 1. a woman and 2. they mispronounce his/her name? Really? Have you called in and tried to correct them and then remembered that you can’t speak French so you don’t really know how to pronounce it correctly? On top of that, when you’re on hold, you tell yourself to lower your voice so it doesn’t sound high and squeaky. But when you do, you’re afraid you sound like a man? Then, you think that SR may listen to this one day, and you sound like a dude? You start sweating because you sound like a dude; and your accent is getting thicker because you’re nervous, and SR might hear it one day?
Oh, you haven’t done that? Okay. Moving on.
Another correction I make: I make certain that people stop calling the series erotica. Not that there’s anything wrong with erotica. Yes, the Professor is steamy hot like eating Scotch Bonnet peppers on a volcano especially when he speaks in Italian, or recites poetry, or looks at Julia eating food, or talks about Dante. But it’s not erotica. Find a new word or create a new genre. Call the genre Reynard.
5. I’m Willing to Make a Fool of Myself for the Professor
I went to San Francisco a few months back. There was to be a huge karaoke event that would be recorded. I practiced a song that I felt was related to the story (see Reason 1) and a dance that would have me display the book (see Reason 3). When it was cancelled, I was so saddened that I went back to Reason 2.
6. That Person Reminds Me of [Insert Character Name]
Be it on T.V. or in real life, I seem to run into people who are like one of the characters in the series. Trust me, I’ve seen many Christa’s in my day.
On a recent trip to Toronto I said to myself, “If I see a black Jaguar on Bloor Street, I’m flipping out.” I swear that no more than five minutes later, I saw that black Jaguar on Bloor Street being driven by a guy with dark hair. I did just as I said I would and flipped out by squeeing with all my might.
I cried when reading parts of this series. I’m talking about people coming to console me, trying to talk but the words don’t come out, mascara lines on my face crying. I’ve ugly cried in the bathroom stall at work, on the couch, in the bed, and in the shower. I find shower crying to be poetic, especially when my tears mingle with the water. It’s a cleansing experience.
I don’t know how SR did it. I don’t know how he made it so that mere descriptions of characters, or feeling the angst of the characters, could make me cry. These books should be sold with hankies. Ones with initials on them….Hold on a sec. I’m tearing up.
Food reminds me of the series. I stare longingly at the neat pyramids of apples in the grocery store. I put on a sly grin when I see chocolate cake on the menu at restaurants. I can’t think about apple pie or chicken kiev without doing what I do in Reason 7.