I am a brother
I am a police detective
I am a contract killer
I don’t want to love
I don’t want to feel
I don’t want … EMPATHY.
They say some people are born with decreased activity in the front central lobe causing them a deficiency in empathy. Maybe that’s true about me but whether I was born this way or created in a moment of evil, empathy was something I didn’t possess until her green eyes met mine in the mirror and I couldn’t take her life.
I didn’t want to feel, didn’t want this woman in my life complicating how I lived but she was there at every turn. Sent to haunt me for my sins. Her light so bright she provoked a shadow from everyone she touched. When a job turns bad quickly altering my life forever I’m forced to feel. When nothing is making sense I’m forced to face truths I never would recover from. When life drowns you in its cruelty you don’t know which way the current will drag you or who you’ll become once you re-surface.
I was a daughter
I was a student
I was a victim
Did I have his love?
Did I make him feel?
Did I have his empathy?
When the actions of a soulless killer forces sorrow into my veins I never dreamed the man healing my wounds would be the one to leave the worst scar. His love would scar my soul. Scars are permanent; I will never feel the relief from them. Will I learn to live with them, remember why I have them and learn never to let him close enough to inflict more? Will I eventually cover them… like tattoos coating them with new memories, new love and new starts? I didn’t know these answers because the pain was too suffocating, the only thing I knew was they will always be under the surface lingering. He had scars too, from his sins. There is nothing that can cover them, they were too deep, too ugly, too dark and they marked us both forever.
~ OMG WHAT DID I JUST READ!!! ~
You can ask any of my blog mates and they will tell you I not easily shook by books I read. But this book shook me, to my foundation. There were parts in this book that made me very uncomfortable and it challenged me as a reader, as I am one of those who imagines herself in the book. Is this book for everyone? NO. Instead of telling you, you should read this, or it is a must read, or it is an awesome book… I am going to tell you not to read this book if you have a young college age girl just starting her freshman year at any of the number of colleges around the good ole U.S. of A., cause you will never ever sleep again. Period. DO NOT READ THIS BOOK!!!
Now if you love dark, gritty, twisted books that will leave you shaking and wondering what you just read, then this is the book for you. This book decimates all the other dark romances on the market, as it left me gasping for air, wondering if my brain will ever function like it did prior to this read. I swear Ker Dukey, who I never read prior to today, is some evil genius rubbing her hands together chuckling an evil little laugh. Take that my book readers, and try to sleep in you soft little bed, since I have messed with your brain. I honestly may need therapy after this book. I know you are wondering what the book is about. Well honestly, even if I told you the framework of the plot, I would ruin this book for you. The book is like an onion with so many layers but you know how those onion skins rip apart so easily, that is what happens to the characters worlds, they freaking rip apart. This book is filled with so much darkness, that you may wonder why I am recommending it. I am recommending it because it is brilliantly written and it is a book that ripped the fabric of my psyche to shreds. Dukey has written characters that are not easy to forget and there is a love story that does shine through. Dukey grabbed me figuratively by the throat and would not let me breathe until I finished the book. She mesmerized me by the way she weaved the plot of the book and I am stunned by the impact that I felt as I finished it. I kept thinking after I closed the case on my kindle ‘What is the price of love?’ HOLY CRAP!
Buy this book
About the Author
I have always had a passion for storytelling, whether it be through lyrics or bed time stories with my sisters. I wanted to be an actress growing up so I could live many roles but I learned early on that my mind was too active, I would want to change the script haha! I would watch films and think of ways they could of improved the story if they took another direction.
My mum would always have a book in her hand when I was young and passed on her love for reading, inspiring me to venture into writing my own. I tend to have a darker edge to my writing. Not all love stories are made from light, some are created in darkness but are just as powerful and worth telling too
When I’m not lost in the world of characters I love spending time with my family. I’m a mum and that comes first in my life but when I do get down time I love attending music concerts with my younger sister, who shares my soul, we are two peas in a pod.