Title: Shannon’s Gift: A Story of Love, Loss, and Recovery
Author: Nate Bennett
Genre: Grieving, loss, love story
Publish Date: June 1, 2014
Publisher: Booklogix
Rating: 5 Out of 5 Stars

 

 

 

~ Book Synopsis ~

In this raw, emotional memoir, Nate Bennett shares the blog he maintained to work through his grief over the sudden loss of his wife Shannon. He is surprised and comforted to discover a vast virtual community of support. His blog posts — alternately poignant and of dry wit — eventually attracted tens of thousands of hits and a following from readers who hadn’t known the couple. This unique book gives the reader a window into the starkness of a widower’s grieving experience in real time. What comes through in virtually every post is his love for Shannon as he weaves in vignettes from their life together, chronicling their love story and his efforts to recover. And in the end, with the support of his virtual community and the strength he was able to draw from remembering Shannon’s wishes for him, he finds love again.

~ Robbie’s Review ~

Shannon’s Gift is a story presented as a compilation of posts from the blog Nate Bennett set up after his wife Shannon’s unexpected death.  Shannon’s Gift is about one man’s grief but it is also an offering of the gifts of love, joy and hope which will take readers on a roller coaster ride of emotions that begin with grief and loss and culminate with the daunting task of finding a reason to move forward .

Understanding a new purpose is going to be an important part of finding how to move forward.  The problem is that I don’t want to let go of my old purpose.  I love Shannon and I loved having Shannon to take care of and I loved having Shannon to take care of me.

When I started reading Shannon’s Gift, my initial impression was “What a great book this would be for someone who has lost a beloved spouse.”  As I read, however, I began to view it as a book that will appeal to anyone who has ever loved and lost someone, to anyone who has ever had a special friend or made it through a bad time with the love and support of special friends, to anyone who has ever found it possible to move forward after a devastating loss.  With its detailed depiction of Nate Bennett’s journey following the death of his wife and  friend Shannon, Shannon’s Gift is first and foremost as the title indicates: a love story.  Even during the most wrenching descriptions of his grief for Shannon, the emotion that shines most clearly is Nate’s love for Shannon and the joy he took in the brief time they shared.  I think the author’s gift for characterization will lead readers to fall in love with Shannon and wish they’d had the opportunity to know her.

What would be different if Shannon hadn’t lived?  She didn’t eradicate disease, erase poverty, or bring peace to the Middle East.  But neither did any of us.  She brought thousands of kindnesses into the world.  She made my adult life what it’s been.  And she got two kids off to a great start.  I can’t even begin to articulate what an impact she’s had on our family.  That’s just the impact her being here has had — her being gone is shaping an entirely different set of circumstances.

There is an HEA in Shannon’s Gift but it would be best defined as Hopeful Ever After.  For me some of the best features of the book were unexpected. . . almost like small gifts from Shannon.  Readers will have the opportunity to become acquainted with mitochondrial disease, a rare disorder that colored Shannon’s life and her marriage to Nate and ultimately took her from him. There are also the shameful details of Nate’s frustration with the medical community following Shannon’s death.  I sincerely hope those of us who work and have worked with patients and families will take this aspect of the story to heart.  And the last is one which may seem a bit odd.  I appreciated that the author reached out to those who don’t believe in a higher power. . .an uncommon perspective in books on the grief process.

There aren’t many grief books that aren’t based on a belief in God.  It makes it a little harder to process the advice when the foundation is something you don’t share — at least not in that way.  It’s made me think about my beliefs.  Would I be less hurt if I thought there was a God?  Would I be less sad if I believed Shannon was in a better place?  Would I be less lonely if I thought I would see her again one day?  Who knows?

What I have come to realize is just how powerful hope is.  I believe in the power of hope.  For a while, hope helped me deal with Shannon’s collapse.  Now hope that I haven’t had my last fun night out is helping me deal with being alone.  The question then becomes, where do you find hope?  Maybe it would be easier to find hope if I believed in God,.  But I don’t, so I have to find other sources.  I find hope in my kids.  I was driving to work earlier today and I passed a mom out teaching her little boy to ride his bike.  I found hope in that.  I find hope in a great song and the energy of a crowd at a concert and in front of a class and in the kindness of friends.  I hope that’s enough hope.

For anyone who is looking for a better understanding of the grief process or deeper insight into supporting friends and family who are grieving, Shannon’s Gift will present you with a unique look into the heart of one man’s love, loss and recovery.

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book directly from the author.  I was not paid to read or review this book.  All opinions are my own, and I was never influenced by anything or anyone.

In September of 2011—just about a month after our twenty-sixth wedding anniversary—I lost Shannon. We had just become empty nesters; weeks earlier we dropped our youngest son off at college. Shannon had waited until he was settled to schedule routine shoulder surgery. Post operation, the doctor came out to tell me the procedure was a success, and sent me to get the car. In those next few moments, Shannon collapsed and never regained consciousness. Shannon died, and I went from being half of a couple, anticipating the joy of time and travel with an amazing partner, to a person struggling to find a way back into the light.

Anyone who knew Shannon will testify that she was one of the kindest, sweetest souls ever put on earth. I was extraordinarily lucky to have her in my life. We met at college in 1981. Though I wasn’t paying adequate attention the first time I met her, I thankfully had a second chance. I thought she was beautiful right away, and I learned how compassionate, patient, and strong she was over the next 28 years. I couldn’t have had a better partner. As you read our story, you will get to know her, and I bet you will miss her, too.

After she passed away, I looked for stories that might help me understand my pain. I wanted to know what to do to stop hurting. I wanted to know what to do so I could be there for the other people who were hurting with me—especially our sons. I was in a place that was completely unacceptable; I had to find a way out. What I found didn’t help cut through my haze of grief. None of it came close to describing how hopeless I was. None of it pointed me to the set of concrete steps towards the recovery I desperately wanted.

Since I couldn’t find enough of the right stuff to read, I started to write.  I have no doubt that the writingis the primary reason I can sit here today as a mostly functioning adult. My blog and support from the online community that assembled around it kept me from feeling quite so alone. They were invaluable in my effort to work through my grief and to find my way to love again.

Shannon gave me many gifts over the years. I choose to think that she gave me this opportunity to try and help others by sharing my grief and my efforts to get better. If I can manage that opportunity, she will have given a gift to those struggling with mitochondrial disease, the condition that hastened her death. She will have given a gift to people struggling with loss, as well as to people who care about friends or family who are trying to get up from what I promise is a terrible blow. And, finally, Shannon was brutally honest regarding her challenges and her likely prognosis due to her struggles with mitochondrial disease. Her unselfishness in repeatedly and unequivocally expressing what she expected of me should she predecease me is a gift that has made it possible for me to not simply survive losing her, but to find love again.

 

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What is Mitochondrial Disease?

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About the Author

In the fall of 2011, Nate lost his wife of 26 years in a shocking turn of events. She’d just had an outpatient procedure on her shoulder and the doctor sent Nate to get the car to bring her home. In the next few minutes, things went terribly wrong. Shannon collapsed, never to recover. After more than a week in a critical care unit in pursuit of a cure, Nate honored Shannon’s wishes and had her life support discontinued and she died shortly later. Nate’s book, Shannon’s Gift, is the result of the blog Nate kept during Shannon’s hospitalization and after her death. Initially, the purpose of the blog was to keep friends and family informed of Shannon’s condition. Quickly, though, the blog became Nate’s catharsis and a way to stay connected to a web of supporters.

After the sudden loss of his wife, Nate was surprised and comforted to discover a vast virtual community of support. His blog posts – alternately expressing poignancy and dry wit – eventually attracted tens of thousands of readers and a following from people around the world that didn’t even know Nate or his wife. The unique book gives the reader a window into the starkness of a widower’s grief in real time and a look at how social media has changed grieving in today’s world. In the end, with the support of his virtual community and the strength he was able to draw from remembering Shannon’s wishes for him, he finds love again.

While Nate is new to the personal memoir genre, he is co-author of two management books, “Riding Shotgun: The Role of the COO” and “Your Career Game: How Game Theory Can Help You Achieve Your Professional Goals.” Both are books published by Stanford University Press. Additionally, his research has been published in respected scholarly journals such as the Academy of Management Review, the Academy of Management Journal, Psychological Bulletin, and the Journal of Applied Psychology. He has also published in many widely read resources for managers including the Harvard Business Review, Wall Street Journal, BusinessWeek.com and Forbes.com.

Nate Bennett is a professor of the J. Mack Robinson College of Business at Georgia State University in the summer of 2012. From 1999 to 2012, he was on the faculty of the business school at Georgia Tech, where he most recently held the position of the Catherine W. and Edwin A. Wahlen Professor of Management. From 1999 until 2010, he served as associate dean and then as senior associate dean. Prior to Georgia Tech, he served on the faculty at Louisiana State University. While at LSU, he served at times as the management department’s Ph.D. program coordinator, department chair, MBA program director, and associate dean.

Nate holds a BA in sociology, as well as a MA in Social Research from Tulane University. He earned his Ph.D. in Management from the Georgia Institute of Technology. He resides in Atlanta, GA.

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